My little sister Nicola and cousin Zendaria were planning on going trick or treating in the neighbourhood with their freind Issy and our cousin Olivia. The next day was the big Melbourne Cup race and so of course a public holiday. We were visiting over at my Auntie Nat and Uncle Brendons place taking photos of the girls in their costumes and then we were all challenged to go and get our costumes on. Well we hadn't planned anything... at all! Cassie and cousin Caelin drove back to Mums place to muster something up and Matt and I drove to our place to do the same. Basically with no notice at all - we had only one option. Bogans!
What is a bogan? BOGAN (pronunciation boe-gn) is a term used primarily in Australia to describe a particular section of the working class demographic. This derogatory slang word is a gender-neutral noun; this being important as many bogans tend to gravitate towards one another forming relationships and extended families. A bogan family is not an uncommon phenomena in certain regions. A bogan typically resides in either a low-cost housing estate, government housing or in the outlying regional areas of continental Australia. So now we have a basic understanding of the bogan, we may delve further into the mysterious world of mullets and long-kneck beer bottles in brown paper bags. Traits of the bogan can be summarised by the following points: • A pronounced lack of dress sense in social situations. Typical bogan attire consists of a flannelette shirt, King Gee stubbie shorts (either blue/khaki), torn or soiled jeans from the 1980's or earlier, and of course double-plug standard issue white thong sandals with black rubber. A bogan's dress sense is not influenced by intended destination/occasion hence the line between workwear and formal wear is often hazy at best. On rare occasions bogans may be spotted wearing enclosed shoes when entering the local RSL to "have a slap on the pokies" or to "get pissed wif me mates on the veebs (VB)". A female bogan will usually wear a matching ensemble usually consisting of second-hand fashions or products purchased from the discount retail chains Best and Less or Big W. • A lack of personal hygiene. A bogan will often allow his/her hair to grow into an attractive style named the "mullet" as popularised in the 1980's. A hair cut is a rare event for the bogan, and most styling occurs when the razor is brought out to either a) produce a "skinhead" style cut or b) a "frullet" (front-mullet). Similar styles apply for females, however the female bogan frequently colours her hair auburn. The bogan bathroom usually contains a bar of multi-purpose soap used to both cleaning the family, washing the hair, styling the hair and manicures/pedicures. Whilst most non-bogans will use Eau de Toilette spray as a perfume, the most common boganistic fragrance is "Odour of Toilet". The bogan frequently rosters showers at irregular intervals such as once a week for males and twice for females. • Distinct vocabulary. The bogan language is somewhat foreign to most English-speaking people. For example in boaglish, the word "shooting" would be pronounced as "shootun". Similarly, the word "look out" is pronounced as "look eet". The boaglish alphabet does not contain the letters "i" or "g", hence the pronunciation of words containing the suffix -ing are simply pronounced -un. Examples include "rootun" (rooting), "fishun" (fishing) and the common phrase "where's me beer woman" (what is the current location of my alcoholic beverage dearest female partner). The boaglish vocabulary is mostly limited to frequent curse-words and miss-pronunciation of common English words. A common bogan trait also includes shortening words. Locations such as the Wyong Leagues Club become the "leaguesy", the Crown Casino becomes the "leaguesy" and females/males such as Sharon/Barry become "Shaz" and "Baz". • A particular choice in motor vehicle. The bogan usually drives one of two makes of vehicle. Typically this is either a Holden or a Ford . Common bogan variants manufactured by each of these companies include the Holden Commodore (VB-VP models), Holden Kingswood and the Ford Falcon (all models up to the recent EF). Other well known bogan vehicles include early model Datsuns and Toyotas . Bogan accessories include anything HSV/HRT for Holdens, and FPV/FTR for Fords. These vehicles tend to be more prevalent on the roads whilst the V8 supercar races are being held. Drivers often attempt to imitate in heavy traffic their heroes Skaifey (Mark Skaife) and Ambrose (Marcos Ambrose). Bogan vehicles are rarely detailed, and are serviced even less frequently. Most bogan drivers hold animosity towards imported vehicles and are still bitter that the Nissan Skyline beat the Holden and Ford racing teams at Bathurst in the early 90's. Consequently, many bogans believe their VN Commodore has the ability to beat anything with the badge "Ferrari", "Nissan", "BMW M3" or "Pagani". Click here for examples of bogan vehicles. • Choice in music. The bogan prefers either metal or pub rock. A bogan would suggest that the song Khe Sanh by Cold Chisel would be a more appropriate national anthem than Advance Australia Fair. AC/DC is also a popular choice. Anything Barnesy. Midnight Oil is another classic example of the bogan genre. • Employment status. The common bogan is either a) not employed or b) a tradesman/labourer. A bogan employee can be spotted kitted up in a fluorescent vest or polo shirt. Unemployed bogans often frequent RSL's/clubs for discount lunches during the day, before continuing on to the local Centrelink office to receive the hard-earned cash of the tax-paying public. This will be followed by a journey to the most convenient bottle shop ("bottlo") to purchase 2x24 cartons ("slabs") of Victoria Bitter ("Veebs") for $60. Also included in this purchase is the all-important packet of Winfield Reds ("Smokes"). The rest of this pension money is budgeted towards the "pokies" at the local pub. • A poorly-maintained house or unit. As previously mentioned, the bogan often resides in regions of a lower socio-economic standing. Basically, in most cases the bogan is located some way inland from a coastal fringe or major waterway. In the case of Sydney, this has lead to the term "westie" being coined in order to distinguish the boganistic population of the inland western suburbs from the more affluent residents of the east. In the case of NSW/QLD and Victoria, the majority of bogans are located on or west of the Great Dividing Range. Whilst this is not always the case, it is important to note that the concentration of bogans per capita is somewhat higher in these areas. All-in-all the bogan is seen as a top bloke by his mates, but is a menace to the rest of society. |
End result:
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| I think we did a pretty good job representing Bogans with 5 minutes notice. |
Pretty shameful that we happened to have this wardrobe lying around - especially when we barely brought much of our stuff over with us!
Only 2 families came to the door trick or treating. The girls went out into neighbourhoods where the candy was aplenty and had a fun time.
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