The long awaited arrival of Jacksen Lamar Smith

Finally on the 8th of January 2012 we welcomed our big little Jacksen into our family. Not once did we think that the birth of our boy would turn out as it did.

I went in for my appointment on the 28th of December and was supposed to start the induction process with a stretch and sweep. Well the maternity ward was jammed packed with new mums so they didn't want to add to the chaos. They had 208 births in December 100 of those came in over Christmas. WOW! I spent the next week bouncing on my yoga ball and drinking raspberry leaf tea, over a liter and a half a day. This was getting frustrating and uncomfortable for both Matt and I. My knees, feet, legs and hands were extremely swollen I was struggling to walk and function. FUN! Matt was doing a great job at being Mr. Mum - to - be. I had my next appointment for a stretch and sweep a week later on the 4th of January. So we went in with our bags packed hoping that we would be able to stay in and get this child out. They hooked me up to a monitor to check the baby and his heart rate was quite high for several hours which was a little worrying. Once he calmed down to a reasonable rate we were sent home after having a stretch and sweep. From the 4th to the 7th I went in to the maternity ward everyday to have the baby monitored and the fluid levels in the uterus checked. Every time having a my membranes stripped AGAIN (ouch!) and one time ending up in tears in the hallways of the maternity ward wanting to have this baby and hold him in my arms. It was beyond frustrating.

We came in at midday on the 7th of January with our bags ready for the first stage of induction.

We spent 2 hours waiting for our doctor whilst baby was being monitored. NOTHING had happened, I was not dilated at all. At 2 pm they inserted Cervidil which had to be left for 12 hours as I was constantly monitored and so was the bub. 

Matt spent the night sleeping on a pile of blankets and towels next to my bed. We had a horrible nights sleep as we were anxious and woken at 2am to have the Cervidil removed.  The Dr came and assessed my cervix and guess what? Nothing had changed AT ALL! So we were scheduled to be woken at 6am to start the induction process with the big guns! We were moved into a birthing/labour room, had my waters broken at 7am and the Oxytocin drip was started at 8am. I was warned by midwives about this method, the "drug" method - that it was extremely intense and caused extreme contractions resulting in needing an epidural and needing to be monitored throughout the entirety of the birth.

So the plan was for me to be on the IV all day and they would check my progress at 4:30 in the afternoon. Matt and I spent the day exhausted after two consecutive nights of barely a wink of sleep. We were talking with our midwife about her time living in the USA and the things we all missed like a good bagel and mexican food and the things we didn't miss like the healthcare and driving in the snow. Hours passed and the contractions were getting more and more intense and painfully unbearable. We were praying that the drugs were working and preparing me for a natural-ish birth... 4:30 came around, I was examined and suprise suprise, not a thing had changed. We were pretty upset, I cried - by this stage after 42 weeks, the yoga ball, raspberry leaf tea, 6 stretch and sweeps, cervadil and now oxytocin I was feeling pretty depleted. The next step was to re-check at 9:30 and up the drugs. So I had a much higher dose of the drug by this time about 60mls and hour. By 7:30pm my contractions had been so strong for hours and I had put off having an epidural for as long as I could stand. In fact my all natural midwife who is generally against them advised that I get one - especially because by 9:30 even if my body had started to change I was going to be in labour for a long time, and my body was already so exhausted.
So 9 or so hours after a really strong active labour the anesthetist was called to give me an epidural. She went over the risks and I agreed to having it done. Matt sat in front of me and she started the procedure... After she was half way through the procedure she very firmly said to me "Ok, do NOT move at ALL!" Matt has since told me that he had such fear of that statement and was trying to hide the fear in his eyes. So I kept perfectly still as I could feel her fiddling around behind me. As she started to insert the catheter she told me I may experience slight tingling in my back. Well all of a sudden I felt tingling down my left leg, It got worse and worse until it felt like I was being electrocuted and was yelling as my leg was jerking my entire body uncontrollably. Everyone was calling me be still. I explained that I wasn't moving my leg at all... In my mind I was thinking about all of the side effects she had warned me of and I was scared, which of them was going to effect me forever. I just wanted the pain to go away, and this baby out of me and my spine to be ok. The Dr told me she had never seen this happen and she was going to have to start the whole epidural again higher up. I was really scared.

So she did, a little higher in my spine and it worked a charm. I looked at the Dr after and I think she was just as scared as I was, her sweaty upper lip told me so. PHEW! I thought the worst was over, but the best and worst were yet to come.

A few hours later the Dr came in to see if my body had responded to the Oxytocin... To our amazement, not a thing had changed, meaning I had been in active labor for over 12 hours with no physical results other than having major contractions. AWESOME!!! So she proceeded to tell me I was going to go down to theatre for an emergency c-section, she said she was going to see if we could head down to theatre right away I told her I was happy to wait... slightly anxious and I wanted time to process the next step and psych myself up for it.

Of course no one was in theatre so Matt donned his scrubs, and I was wheeled down to theatre. It was probably around 10pm at this stage. 

I was prepped including having my hair tied up by a very nice Dr. who told me he was good at it because he had two young daughters (I feel sorry for his daughters). I was told that Matt was waiting outside and that he was very nervous and scared for me and the baby. I had more drugs put into my drips, was cleaned and tested for my level of anesthesia - which of course after my epidural experience was a bit scary. I started to feel horribly ill, vomiting all over my poor lovely midwife. This all happened in the space of minutes and I was wheeled into theatre sheets were erected and Matt was brought in to join me. There were about 10 or 11 workers in theatre in addition to Matt and I. Drs, my midwife, Drs for the baby, anesthetists etc...

I heard the Dr ask - "are we ok to start?" I turned to Matt and asked him to talk to me about anything other than what was going on, he started with a long "ummmmm..." so he told me how we were all going to travel and road trip together as a little family, that made me smile. Then I remember feeling about 3 sets of hands on my chest pressing down super hard I couldn't breathe. Matt has since told me that he was trying to play it cool while my body was being thrashed around on the operating table - good man! The midwife told Matt to get his camera ready and we waited in anticipation to see our baby.
We saw our baby carried over to the Drs waiting for him. It was so surreal to see this baby that was ours and had been in me - I understand how people say they feel robbed of that connection you get from a natural birth.
We waited what felt like forever to hear him cry... nothing. The Drs stood as if to block our view from the table they had him on. We didn't know at the time but he wasn't breathing. They fed him oxygen to get him going and finally we heard a little cry. Matt went over and I watched his face for cues as to what was happening because I couldn't see my baby. Nothing seemed to be happening and it had been minutes so I started calling out to the Drs asking if my baby was ok. "They're just checking him" the anesthetist told me - like as if that answered my question. I remember thinking it was too good to be true and that he must be sick, or not have made it. These thoughts ran through my head for what felt like an hour until they finally moved out of the way so I could catch a glimpse of this huge baby that was living inside me for so long.

I looked over to see that my baby boy was ok

 Then I fell asleep. Right on the operating table in theatre. My arms fell off the table and woke me till I put them back up and fell asleep again... and again. I was beyond exhausted by this point. I don't remember at all but he was brought over to me while I was in theatre, I turned to kiss him and fell back asleep. He was placed in a humidity crib and went with the midwife and Matt to wait for me in recovery.

I was brought into recovery - it was a huge room that could host at least 50 patients, I was the only one - it was a little eery. I saw Matt waiting in there and was relieved. They brought Jacksen over to me and placed him on my chest. The big boy goes ahead and shows off holding his head up as soon as he was on his stomach - what an overachiever!

Matt and Jacksen left to go back to the labor ward while I was kept in recovery for what was supposed to be only 30 mins tops. Apparently before Matt had even left the room with Jacksen I was fast asleep. All I remember was waking up with Drs and nurses over me hearing that I was bleeding from my wound, and being jabbed with needles. After what felt like 10 mins but was well over an hour I woke up to about 6 or 7 Drs and nurses around my bed, I could hear my pulse beeping on a machine and it was very slow. I had a blood pressure cuff on my left arm that was testing me every 3 minutes all eyes were above my bed head reading my stats and everyones faces were not indicating anything good to me. I started shaking uncontrollably - my head, jaw, arms, shoulders non-stop. I couldn't control it, I wanted it to stop enough for me to ask what was going on, I'm sure the fear in my eyes asked it clearly. I was seizing up in the back of my neck and tongue, my pulse was still so slow and I could hear them all talking about how slow my blood pressure was. I didn't know it but I had hemorrhaged in theatre and lost about 1500 mL of blood, about 1.5 liters/quarts. My body was in shock. As I lay there shaking with my blood pressure dipping to 70/30 I honestly felt as though I was dying.

Meanwhile Matt was 5 floors up with our Jacksen. Jacksen had been weighed.

For the Aussies

For the Americans

 and had been told there were some complications with my recovery. He has since told me that he thought that the first time I saw my son was the last time he would see me, ever. sad!

 I was praying so hard that Matt and my son would be ok and that I would make it through. Every couple of minutes I would feel the life drain from my torso, like I was sinking, it was the most horrible feeling I have ever experienced. I thought I was going to die. The Drs face was not promising at all. She was reading my every results and looking worried waiting for a better reading. Finally they decided my shaking was interfering with the readings, so I was given something to slow them. When I could finally have enough strength to talk I looked at my Dr and asked her "am I ok?" she took her time to look at me and said "yeah" in a very non-convincing way. I wanted all of these feelings to stop. I have never been so terrified of anything ever. I turned to a nurse an asked her the same thing. She replied that I was ok they were just monitoring me and couldn't send me back up to maternity like this.

For the next hour or so everyone just watched the results of my blood pressure and pulse as I lay there thinking. I was told I would be tested for a need of a blood transfusion and was finally released to the maternity ward. I could not wait to see Matt and my lil boy. Now it was about 2am Monday morning and as I was wheeled into my room I saw my beautiful husband and son.

We were both so relieved to see each other. I got to meet my son properly and could not believe how massive he was. I had a 10 lb. baby? me? WOWZERS! The midwife came into our room and made sure I had some time with Jacksen.

He was beautiful! BIG! He looked so different to what I had imagined. He was perfect!

We went to dress him and pulled out his newborn clothes - the midwife informed us that none of these would fit him. my sisters wanting any chance they could to come and see us all brought up some clothes for him at 2:30am. After everything we'd been through the midwife let us sneak them into the ward. Cassie walked over to see him as Nicola stood at the end of my bed and burst into tears.

My sisters dressed him and he was put in his cot. After the girls left the Dr who performed my surgery came in to see me. She told me that his head was so big it couldn't drop in order for labor to start. She also told me that his head and body he were completely stuck and wedged - which is why they needed help pushing him out as well as using forceps to pull him out, for which she apologized. Apparently the lil big guy had drained my placenta for all he could too - it was dead on arrival! gross but true! And when they had gone to put the blood oxygen sensor around his wrist he was so big it didn't fit - they had to use the one for ankles.

Matt and I said a prayer, grateful for the blessings we had received that day and went to sleep. 

We were finally parents.

One of my midwives came in to see me the next day and told me she had heard all about the birth, she also told me a was a tough one - apparently most women need the epidural at 6mls and hr of the Oxytocin and I got mine at 60mls an hour. It was pretty painful.

Recovery since then has been slow but steady. I didn't end up getting a blood transfusion for my loss. The whole experience was totally bitter sweet. So amazing to have our little boy who is perfect! BUT the most traumatic experience that neither of us ever want to go through again. Grateful for the medicare system where all costs are covered, absolutely no out of pocket expense for the pregnancy or birth since being in Australia and we've had the luxury of 4 home visits from midwifes. Jacksen is back to his birth weight and nursing like a champ (of course at his size - he is a professional eater).

Turns out throughout the pregnancy I had Pre-clampsia  which explains the huge baby, massive weight gain and hemorrhaging in surgery. Not very fun at all.

Jacksen Lamar Smith

8th January 2012

10.6 Lb.

4.7 Kg

22.5 inch

56.5 cm